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From my studies of marriage and dating relationships, I've learned that what really keeps people together, what people should be looking for, is similarity - similarity in underlying values.

It's not interests, or hobbies, or even food preferences.

And it's the common thread that binds two people in a relationship. The media would have us believe that people are going to take advantage of us, that people are going to assault us when we meet then, but those are the exceptions.

From talking to people, and following people over time in my research, I've learned that the Internet is a very common way that people meet and develop long-term relationships and commitments.

This information is in academic books and journals, which most people don't read.

The first "best place" is to join a group activity that meets regularly. " And I say, the first thing you want to do it, go eat at the same spot every day.

Like a book club, a volleyball team, a religious group, something that is an interest of yours. There is a psychological principle called the mere exposure effect. Go the same way from your house to school to the classroom.

Well, I agree that you can know if you're lusting after a person in the first few seconds!

And you can tell if the chemistry is totally lacking.

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