Widowed father dating daughter unhappy

If you sense that your partner needs time alone, give him that time. Give your new partner the freedom to dictate how the relationship will progress, including when and how you will interact with his children.

Even adult children may need time to adjust to the idea of their widowed father dating again after the loss of their mother. Psychologist Phyllis Silverman suggests that the idea of mourning is not an illness from which someone can recover -- and may be a process that impacts individuals for the rest of their lives.

Several years ago, I wrote a book aimed at helping adult children of my generation manage the many challenges of caring for our aging parents.

I interviewed women and men across the country about their struggles and successes.

They’ve even got the grandkids going through my spice cabinet.

For them it’s a game, except I don’t feel like playing.

“So if you tell your dad not to go out and shovel snow, you assume that he’ll listen. But his response will be to go out and shovel away …

And how capable is the father of making his own decisions? “Whenever Brenda drops by, I’m not sure whether she’s come to visit or to check up on me: Does my home meet the clean test?Certainly there are situations where an adult child’s intervention in the ailing parent’s life is clearly needed, but what if this isn’t one of those times? Is the yogurt in my refrigerator long past its ‘use by’ date?Another case in point: My friend Julia and I recently met at a local museum. Over lunch, we caught up on family news—kids, grandkids. I asked about her daughter, who had recently moved back to the East Coast from Chicago. ”“I feel like I’m constantly being assessed,” she concluded. My husband and I have taken to checking the due dates of groceries prior to a visit from any of our three sons.Just keep in mind that dating a widower can require a bit of extra patience, understanding and a willingness to allow him space to express his feelings. Even if your new love interest has had ample time to grieve the loss of his spouse, his children may still be dealing with the loss of their parent -- and he may be trying to help them deal with their pain.Trying to involve yourself in their lives too quickly or too aggressively may have the adverse reaction of pushing your date away as he tries to cope with his feelings and help his children cope with theirs.

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