My ex boyfriend is dating an ugly girl
If and when they ever wake up and realize they’re being abused, they start looking for answers. They begin to understand that no amount of patience, love and understanding will end their wife’s or girlfriend’s abuse, they cannot “save” or “fix” Crazy, that they have issues of their own to address – particularly their willingness to tolerate abuse in a love relationship – and that it is necessary to have personal boundaries and limits in love.Some men, sadly, will get bad advice from female-biased, enabling/apologist therapists, ministers, family and friends to be even more patient, understanding and vulnerable with their abusers and, essentially, to continue to allow their female abusers to keep abusing them and their children. Downgrade to another professional victim/abuser/loser. Sometimes, this manifests in the classic narcissist-borderline pairing, which actually works.She’s the eternal victim and boyfriend/husband du jour is her hero until she decides he’s the villain and presto change-o — he’s a “jerk” like all the other “jerks” before him.This phenomenon is described in When Crazy seeks to replace you, she will usually: 1.Find another people pleasing, rescuer, Nice Guy type who is eager to prove he’s not like the “bad men” who hurt her in the past.Men like this will take a number and eagerly queue up for their fair share of abuse.
These are the guys who are unemployed or underemployed and move in with your ex and sponge off of your alimony and child support monies.
You basically get punished for being a good person and giving Crazy exactly what she says she wants. This is one of the reasons water seeks its own level and birds of a feather flock together.
When you are a fundamentally decent, kind, hardworking person, you make Crazy look bad in comparison.
The more you improve yourself, the more you act with integrity, the healthier you become, the more Crazy devalues and abuses you.
The more you give Crazy what she says she wants, the more vicious, angry and/or withdrawn she becomes.